Fri. Apr. 15: Rocking exercise - still recruiting calves a little, focused on trying to maintain 13 points. Bitter Pill - 3x5, focused on 13 points while trying to concentrate on keeping perineum pointing to the ground. Back wanted to tighten up, tried to stay loose but can't while trying to keep alignment. Wasn't able to find neutral. Circling Hands/ Open Close - not stable on feet, "hunching over" a lot on expand to absorb, can't find internal feel, weight wants to go to inside of feet and can't stay loose.
note: having a hard time keeping 13 while staying loose. can do one or the other but not both.
note 2: not following the principles of being present and formless, not keeping awareness. stop recalling the previous practice and trying to fix what wasn't working then, getting stuck on a single point while allowing the others to be ignored. be present, be neutral and keep awareness of meditation