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Frustrated...

I know that I have only been doing this stuff for several weeks, but I can't help but be frustrated that I still can't feel the rising energy or anything that resembles the stuff that is described by sifu or anyone else who has been doing this a lot longer than I have. I thought I may be able to get a sense, at least, of some of these feelings but I've got bupkis...Don't feel pressure that is applied to my body going effortlessly to the floor through my structure or any where close. Blah Bla Blah. You get the picture.

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sifu kelley's picture

the fact that you can recognize these things speaks to your progress. knowing that it's wrong is still knowing. :) be patient. have fun. sometimes doing it right feels like nothing. power is a trap. maintain the principles. follow them even if the results don't fit your expectations. ask questions. keep trying to feel what is being presented.

have fun. it will come.

Hey brother Michael,

I'll let you in on a secret that's not so secret... if you look back through all of the posts since chi-factory began you'll see that I myself, Jeff, and maybe even another person has posted either exactly what you've written or something very close.  If you had the time and the interest to go back through every one of my training journal entries you'll see a pattern... that every so often i'll have super frustration and defeat/discouragement about my development especially in regards to what 'I think Sifu is talking about'.  Then a little after that I'll have a revelation where it all comes together... then a little after that another frustration bout where its all wrong... over and over and over again.  So, this hasn't happened to me once before... it's happened over and over and over again, and still does happen.

You see, we have these 'things', these expectations and ideas of what's 'supposed to be happening' in our bodies, what we're supposed to be feeling and manifesting... albeit they are according to what Sifu has taught us.  But, what we don't realize is that the process requires certain things.   These things Sifu describes are the things that simply are... and we don't 'achieve' them, we recognize and realize them, through our awareness.  If we have ideas, expectations, or thoughts on what's 'supposed' to be happening then our awareness may not be able to work under those conditions... it needs open awareness. 

Just as SIfu has said, you have made a great step in the right direction in that your awareness has come along to the point that you're able to be aware of the fact that you're not feeling all of these 'things'.  That alone means that you are doing it 'right' in my opinion.  ILC is the art of awareness, awareness is what we use and what we're after.  You're frustration is coming from your awareness of your body and development as it truly is... or in other words, you're seeing things as they are.  And that IS what we're after as far as I know.  I have been training this method for about a year, and I am now getting to the point where I believe I'm just beginning to feel or see where I need to get to in order to really even begin doing our art.  And that is a marvelous thing for me, because I know what's what. 

That same awareness that's bringing you 'down', is the same awareness that's going to get you to where we're trying to go.  So, just as SIfu said.... have fun, don't think, just feel and continue to be aware, and train.  Do as Sifu says and everything falls into place as it should.  There are processes that we are undergoing that we are not conscious of, necessary motions if you will that are pre-requisites of recognition and realization.  Eating bitter is a must.  Remember... there's no 'good or bad, no judging, just train', realizing the truth in these words that Sifu has said to me time and time again has taken me to places I couldn't have expected nor idealized.  And that is how it has worked for me, I know without a doubt it IS working for you as well.  Keep your head up and continue training my brother.... gongfu = training + TIME.

Patrick

PS, please keep posting your thoughts and feelings here, whether you think they are good or bad doesn't matter, we are here to support you.