I'm nearing the end of a 9-month program to get my personal trainer's certification which means I'm getting slammed with deadlines. I am still working on relaxing while doing wuji standing and have not yet moved on to Bitter Pill. Friday night I stood for 13 minute intervals for a total of 42 minutes. My focus was really to get the weight out of my knees and into my ankles. I did the same thing last night (Sunday) for 15 minutes as well as during the Yiquan standing in my Taiji class this morning. I'm finding that perhaps I am trying to sit too deep--which is a problem my teacher pointed out to me when I first began Taiji 3 years ago.
I am noticing a lot of shaking in my thoracic spine and in my forearms and shoulders, as well. My shoulders have been carrying a lot of tension for some time-- so much that I had to back off of my Yiquan standing so that I did not damage something.
One thing that I am going to push myself to do is develop an actual sitting practice. I stood last night for 15 minutes and sat for 15 minutes. For now I can only manage to count breaths. Towards the end I started to imagine that I was flying an X-wing in Star Wars. I have no idea why that popped into my head.
Today I sat for 15 minutes after class. I found myself wanting to go to sleep much of the time. The rest of the time I had a lot of thoughts about a friend of mine who I think is going through a depression. I tried not to follow the thoughts, but I've realized that I have to accept whatever happens in the present time with that particular relationship. The only thing I can really do is continue to meditate, exercise, and practice my kungfu so that I don't blow up when her personality takes a complete 180-degree turn.